Shits.

1. I'm jobless. I can barely buy anything now. It's 150k left in my ATM and I gotta borrow my parents' money for the rent, again.
It sucks.
I've been an emotional burden to them and I really wish I don't have to be a financial one. Being this kind of person makes me feel like shit.

2. I'm fat now. Too much eating, no willingness to workout. Tried working out, didnt work well. Have no discipline. No hardwork. Seeing abs everywhere makes me feel like shit.

3. I suck at piano. I make a helluva faults in Margo Hotel. And everytime I play I am under pressure of knowing that I play like shit and there's a lot of people who can actually play jazz. I can't play well but I need the money. So I take the job.
That makes me feel like shit.

4. I just realized the years I spent before was me being a foolish snobbish. I hardly ever read. But I comment a lot. The fact that I got good GPA and a cum laude in undergraduate studies adds the shame. I was critical of things, but I didn't really know what I was talking about.
"ENAMOURED" was a word I came up with when asked by a lecturer about a simple word.
I drew a human being on a basis of religious faith to God's creation when the assignment was supposed to be fun: imagining a creature so perfect it can do shits.
I thought Theology was everything, then I thought Nietzsche was everything. I was wrong.
All these make me feel like shit.

5. There's a job opportunity but I dont want to be a fucking teacher again. My English is rusty, and I am no good at giving games. I'm no fun.
This makes me feel like shit.

6. My IELTS is due in one year. It's 7.5 in total. It's sufficient for common people, but it sucks for a former IELTS teacher.
This makes me feel like shit.

7. My laptop is broken and my handphone shows signs of being unable to be charged. Laptop has gone through numerous services + added a cooling fan. Chipset's still overheating. Can't watch anything/connect to an internet for more than 5 minutes now.
Bluescreen + crash cud happen anytime.
Dont have the money to fix that or buy a new one. Parents offer to help.
This makes me feel like shit.

8. Cant write songs at home nor my room. Inspiration comes, and I can't find a private sphere. Private sphere has been invaded by too many things.
This makes me feel like shit.

I'm a fucking piece of shit.