The Lord's Gift

THE LORD likes to give people strange gifts.

Eventhough his broken and dusty house is full of people, cattle, and dolls, he only gives his gifts to people.

I found mine this morning, lurking under the shredded sunlight that shone upon the front yard of THE LORD’s house.

I never asked for one – never even cared to. But when I saw it, I grinned.

***

THE LORD gave Steve a gift.

It was the gift of a raven’s caw.

When the hummingbird and the swallows remain silent in the House of THE LORD, the raven’s caw astonishingly breaks the silence.

But this is THE LORD’s gift, and THE LORD always wields a double-edged sword. When Steve starts to speak, his words shatter the silence while keeping it intact at the same time. When Steve delivers his caw, the cattle and the dolls quietly rejoice together in His Home.

And all will think, “Comprehensible. Very plausible.”

Was it THE LORD’s caw?

If you ask me, I don’t like him.

***

THE LORD gave Mary a gift.

It was a pair of white boots.

Mary likes to go to the chamber of tomes, her favorite room in the house of THE LORD. This room is perpetually full of blind visitors, but there are more rats sleeping among the books than the visitors reading in this room – how can you blame them when they’re blind? The blind visitors and the rats, they have their own favorite books.

As for Mary, among ten thousand books slumbering within the shelves, she only likes two books.

The first is titled “HE likes me”.

The second is titled “HE hates them”.

Since Mary received her special pair of white boots, it is her duty, then, to use THE LORD’s gift to get rid of the rats in any way she can – at least that’s what she understands. Everyone is allowed to visit this beloved room of hers, but not rats. Every night, then, one can clearly hear loud repetitive thuds behind the door of the chamber, and every midnight, you can see Mary’s boots’ color change. The stomped rats, with their guts open, always paint them red in perfection.

Mary likes red, but she likes white, too.

That is why she always washes her boots every morning until they’re as white as the cattle’s milk.

White for the morning, and red for the night, that’s how Mary likes her boots to be.

Ironically, Mary doesn’t know that she’s also blind. So if you visit the chamber at night, you can be stomped, too. I know this because I visited her one night, and I was stomped with the rats.

Was it THE LORD’s will? (Or am I a rat?)

If you ask me, I don’t like Mary.

***

THE LORD gave Harry a gift.

It was a letter… oh, and a blanket, too.

For some, Harry is an extremely funny person.

But he’s actually not. It was the letter that made him funny.

Harry and his friends like to talk and play in one part in the house of THE LORD – the iron room. In fact, THE LORD trusts them to take care of the room.

They let people come inside the iron room, but when one does, Harry will immediately show the letter to one of his friends. The letter is a funny one, I believe, since whoever reads this will laugh outrageously.

(Perhaps THE LORD is a jester, too.)

After showing the letter to his friend, Harry will then wrap THE LORD’s blanket to the laughing person, so the laughter becomes unheard and the face becomes unseen. Only when one pays attention one will notice the mad laughter coming from inside of the blanket.

You may ask me – how can I know all of this?

One Sunday morning, I came to the iron room, and as usual, Harry was there with his friends – Agape, Aletheia, or Angeline. Just as I walk into the room, Harry showed THE LORD’s letter to Angeline before wrapping her head in THE LORD’s blanket. But Angeline is always very loud when she laughs – so loud that even THE LORD’s blanket cannot contain her giggles that muffled beneath the blanket itself. It was at that very moment I knew that the letter was funny, and the blanket had no other purpose than concealing the laughter.

I asked Harry to show the letter, but he didn’t let me see. He never shares his letter to outsiders. Only certain cattle and dolls know, and Harry calls them “friends”. When I asked him to give me the letter, he pushed me away. Instead, he read the letter himself, looked at my face, and laughed ferociously right in front of me and his friends.

Was it because of THE LORD’s joke?

If you ask me, obviously I don’t like Harry.

***

THE LORD gave Grace a gift.

It was an orb of persuasion.

Grace is considered as the defender of the house of THE LORD. If you haven’t known, the orb speaks to matter as well as to cattle, dolls, and people. Whenever the house falls apart, Grace will uncover her orb of persuasion to persuade the building to fix itself. Strangely and somehow, Grace’s orb makes the bricks and the mortar within the vein of the house cry. Once the weeping is done, they will pull themselves together.

Also – people, cattle, and dolls don’t often see this, but – the raven owes Grace, too. If you look closely on Tuesdays and Saturdays, Grace always uses the orb of persuasion to comfort the people, the cattle, and the dolls.  The orb shines a light that makes it feel nice to be in the house of THE LORD. As all finds the house soothing despite its cracks and dusts, the raven can then comfortably caws his gift every Sunday.

Was it THE LORD’s persuasion?

If you ask me, the orb has stopped working on me. And no, I don’t like Grace.

***

THE LORD gave Donald a gift.

It was an ordinary staff, but coated with pure gold.

Donald is a quiet person. But with the staff, he has become very powerful.

His staff, which is as magical as Grace’s orb, is the one that runs everything in the house of THE LORD.

Just by waving the staff, Donald makes THE RAVENS caw, THE STOMPERS stomp, THE JESTERS laugh, THE WITCH enchant, THE DOLLS dance, THE CATTLE sleep, and THE PEOPLE suffer in alienation.

The powerful staff works in mysterious, various ways I don’t understand. But I can tell you it is silent and swift at the same time. As the staff is very powerful, Donald always hides it somewhere only he knows.

I wonder – Was the staff THE LORD himself?

If you ask me, I hate Donald and the staff more than anything else.

***

This morning, THE LORD gave me a gift.

I never thought he would, because we never get along, not since his house is run by the five abominations named Steve, Mary, Harry, Grace, and Donald.

But somehow, he sent me something stranger that has never been granted to anyone here – stranger than the caw, the boots, the letter & blanket, the orb, or the staff. The gift was firmly sealed within a small-sized black box, and the box itself seemed to have been carefully put among the bushes that grow just outside the house of THE LORD.

(It is supposed to be a secret. But if you really wish to know what the gift is, don’t let any of the five know I’ve told you about this. Don’t even tell THE LORD himself.)

It was a cold gun with precisely six bullets.

(No, not five – SIX bullets).

January 22, 2017

11:50 AM, RMCI

written on a Sunday morning, during a sermon.

– A.S.

“Inspired by D.O.R.O.T.H.Y.’s work.”